Anxiety.

I have struggled with anxiety since I was born. No, really. Since I was born. I have prayed about it, been to counseling about it, talked with older and wiser people, talked with friends. I have done everything in my power to break myself of this habit. After coming to college, I thought it was gone. I gained confidence in myself. I "figured out who I was," I guess you could say. I stopped worrying.

That is, until today. It all came crashing into my head at once. Relationships, work, school, tuition, "OhmygoshIonlyhavetwoyearsleftwhatamIgoingtodowithmyLIFE?!"

I would love to end this post with something like, "Well I will just trust in God. It's easy. Goodnight." No, that's not what you're getting. I want to control it. I want to fix it all. I want to figure everything out. I know that I can't, but I want to. I also know that I'm too stubborn to let go, and I will fight until I'm exhausted and can't fight anymore. Grrrreat.