Overwhelmed.

I am overwhelmed.

Every time I get overwhelmed, I get over-dramatic. Clearly, things are never as bad as they are at that very moment of overwhelming-ness. Tonight is one of those times. I have an exam in the morning. I feel inadequate in every area of my life. I have knots in my back. I haven't had enough coffee. I have a paper due Friday. I leave for New York for fall break on Saturday.

But. I have friends who love me enough to send me sermons, call me out on being prideful, and encourage me when I need it. I am inadequate, and I'm only enough because grace makes me enough. I try to control things, and it never works. I should stop that.

So. In this moment of overwhelming-ness, I'm stopping to pray. Stopping to refocus, and remember why I'm taking classes like Living and Working in a Multicultural Context in the first place. I'm stopping with the over-dramatic stuff. I'll survive.

Study.

I'm at Starbucks with Allie studying. It's raining outside. Christmas music is playing in the background.

I'm a terrible studier. While reading The Daughter of Persia for 20th Century, I've finally come to understand the importance of my education. The book tells the story of the daughter of an Iranian military and political leader who left Iran at twenty three to study in the U.S. She worked hard to earn her sociology degree, and went back to Iran and literally changed the country. Having worked for the United Nations, she was familiar with what social problems her nation required attention. This single woman began an upper-level school, met with the Shah to gain government support, and helped raise a generation that desired change.

All from a sociology degree.

I feel like I've wasted the last two and a half years. I've built meaningful relationships and have had fun, but I don't want to graduate thinking I wasted four years and can't do anything with my degree. I have two weeks and two more semesters. It's time to work.